


See You In Dreamland

by Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell



Series: the dreamlands [1]
Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: F/M, i deleted this tried to rewrite it and deleted it again, nico and trixie still exist even though they arent mentioned in this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-05
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 16:44:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 19,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14856450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell/pseuds/Jace_Diaz_Of_Hell
Summary: When Estella runs away, Jace is left reeling. A series of bad decisions leads to a dangerous relationship.





	1. Chapter 1

Estella left the day I turned sixteen.

 

I had no idea she was leaving and apparently, neither did my parents. I woke up to a loud wail from my mother, Marco, and ran out into the hall, promptly tripping over Estella's gift to me and whacking my face off of the lightswitch. Of course Estella wouldn't forget my gift. Of course she wouldn't. I scooped it up and ran down the stairs, to find Mom holding a note that had been pinned under the coffeemaker, apparently.

 

"I don't get it. I thought she wouldn't be leaving for another year..." Mom trailed off, looking up at me. I smiled at her, only to be shaken by the look in her eyes. She looked lost, almost. Maybe hollow.

 

My father, ever the analyst, studied the note, an arm around my mother's waist.

 

"What's happening?" I asked, worried.

 

"It seems your sister has left." My father told me. He most always talked like this- in _allegedlys_ and _apparentlys,_ never believing anything without solid proof. "Much earlier than we had planned."

 

I nodded mutely; I hadn't even known she was leaving, which was odd. I thought Stel told me _everything._ When I looked through the door, I saw Star and Janna Butterfly heading up the steps.

 

Star and Janna are the queens of a Dimension called Mewni. They're longtime friends of my mother and what my father calls "free spirits"- which means he and Star constantly are having arguments. She's been working on her destructive nature, but she still needs reminding sometimes. When you don't rein her in, there's widespread chaos. Unfortunately, mom and dad get blamed for most of these incidents, seeing as they rule Hell.

Janna is what my mom calls a rebel-without-a-clue, which is _absolutely_ true.  She's basically reworked a lot of government things and has a habit of generally stirring the pot when she thinks things need to be interesting. Ultimately, however, she's completely down to earth and balances Star out. They're an amazing couple.

They were carrying things to make breakfast, which they always did on my birthday. It was our thing.

It seemed, however, that my family had forgotten my birthday.

We were joined by Annie, who was confused and then upset when she found out what had happened. She made a motion to try and find Estella immediately.

Star flung the front doors open, racing over to me.

"Jace, Jace, Jace!!" She screamed, pulling me into a tight squeeze. "Happy Birthday! This is gonna be your best year yet, I can _feel_ it!"

"I don't know. It's shaping up to be pretty awful." I said quietly, cringing on her loud tones. It was only then that she saw my mother and father's emotional state and immediately ran over to them.

"What happened?" She asked, concerned. Mom passed Star the note and then turned to my father, hiding her face in his chest. He slipped both arms around her, and I read the note over Star's shoulder.

As usual, Estella didn't pull any punches.

_Family-_

_Gone to a new school. Please understand I had to do this. I love you._

_-Estella_

Star immediately pulled Mom into a hug, Janna setting out the things for breakfast.

 

I went back up the stairs quietly, not wanting to see the sad scene downstairs for a while.

 

Then I sat down on my bed to unwrap my gift. It was wrapped in my favorite color, a rich forest-green, and tied with simple twine. I untied the knot slowly and tore the paper open, smiling at the gift.

 

It was a pale green color and had _Dream Journal_ embossed on it in silver. Sprinkled on the cover were little moons and stars.

 

My sister liked interpreting dreams. It was something she had started to do ironically and then got drawn into it, looking for little symbols in a dream as mundane as waking up and eating breakfast.

 

It reminded me of when her and I were young. We had slept in the same room, and Mom had tucked us in at night. As I struggled to stay awake to get one last glimpse at her, she would blow us a kiss and say, "I'll see you in Dreamland."

 

I suddenly saw the inscription on the inside cover, written in red ink.

 

_Jace,_ it said, my name big and the words small, _I'll see you there._

 

I had the sinking feeling that Dreamland was going to be the only place where we would see her for a while.

###    
  


 


	2. Chapter 2

In the wake of Estella's departure, my birthday was understandably forgotten until the next day.

 

We had a family dinner to make up for it. I smiled and talked about books, Annie screamed and scratched at the table and skittered around, but it still didn't make up for the gaping hole that was Estella's missing presence.

 

I didn't know why she had left at all, and I forced myself not to think about it. Thinking about that look on my mom's face, the note left behind, never failed to hurt me.

 

The keys to Estella's carriage were passed off to me with no ceremony.

 

"It would have been yours in a year anyways." Mom said, her face still fragile and sad.

 

As I took down the decorations Estella had in her carriage, I spotted my face in the rearview mirror. As always, the tiny scar at the base of one of my horns was the first thing I noticed.

 

The small scar was put there by Estella when we were both pretty little. It's an incident that we don't remember. However, with all the times its been retold it has been folded into our own memories, small details embellished along the way.

 

It is said that we were playing in a sandbox not far from the palace. Stel had the only shovel; I wanted it and tried to pull it out of her hands as Mom took pictures. There is one just before the incident happened: my mouth in a perfect _O,_ wailing as I try to take the shovel. As Stel and I fought over it, one sharp edge grazed just below my horns. I started gushing blood.

 

My mother freaked out and scooped me up in my arms, running the whole way home while Star followed her with Estella. Once we arrived at home I had to recieve four tiny stitches. Estella sat in the kitchen and ate motzeralla sticks, waiting for me.

 

The shovel was destroyed. We weren't allowed near anything not plush and stuffed for six months.

 

Even though her and I don't remember it, whenever we see each other, she always finds my scar first thing.

* * *

 

_August 29_

 

_Nothing. I didn't dream. And we still haven't heard from you._

 

I wished Stel would call. Just one call, to let us know she was doing okay. I wished she had told me she was leaving, or had explained why in her note. I wished I didn't feel like I got punched in the gut every time someone mentioned her.

 

I felt as though Annie and I were stretching ourselves out, trying to expand to make up for the fact that she wasn't there.

 

And that is the beginning of what lead up to me meeting Luke Johnson.

 

I can actually blame it all on Nikki- or more precisely, Nikki's wish to be a cheerleader.

 

Nikki is gorgeous- strawberry blond hair, big blue eyes, curves everywhere, perfectly sculpted horns.

 

She has what Janna calls Issues. The guys in school have another name for it.

 

Anyways, Nikki could never pass up a chance to shove something in the popular girl's faces.

 

"Stel never did it, so you're pretty much required to." She was saying to me.

 

"There's a _reason_ why Stel never did cheerleading." I sighed.

 

"And that is?"

 

"It's not punk rock."

 

"Jace, you've never been punk rock. Why should it matter now? C'mon. Trust me."

 

I looked at her evenly. Those three words had gotten me in more trouble over the years than I could count.

 

Somehow, anyways, I found myself walking into the gym with her.

 

Only to face the same fake smile from Lily she always used before delivering some insult.

 

"Hey, Jace." She drawled. "I heard what happened with Estella and all, and I have to say I'm awful sorry. I never thought she would just flake off like that."

 

_My sister isn't a flake, you witch._

 

Nikki grabbed me by the arm and headed over to the line, which was almost empty. I forced my teeth to stop gritting.

 

"She doesn't know anything about Estella. Stel would never 'flake off'." I mutter.

 

"I know." Nikki said sympathetically, a small smirk on her face. "You know what Stel _would_ do?"

 

"What is that?"

 

The smirk spread into a full on grin.

 

"She'd kick ass and land a spot on the squad, just to spite that bitch."

 


	3. Chapter 3

This explains why I found myself walking up the palace driveway after school, a neatly pressed uniform over my arm. It had all been way too fast for me- one minute I had been channeling Estella's face, focused only on kicking ass and making everyone else look bad; the next I was being welcomed into the squad, pom poms shaking in my face and too-loud squealing in my ears. I had displaced Krystina Charron as the head of the pyramid, who instead became one of the ground cheerleaders, due to the fact that she had gone on the pill and gained fifteen pounds in her butt and hips.

 

Too late, I saw Janna coming down the steps and hurried to stuff the uniform behind my back.

 

"Jace!" She said, smiling and pulling me into a hug.

 

"Hi, Janna." I said quietly, hugging her as best as I could. "How's mom doing?"

 

"She's doing better. I'm trying to convince her to take some classes on Earth with me." Janna replied, then seemed to notice the fabric of the cheerleading uniform. "Whats this?"

 

"It's noth-" I began, right as Janna gasped. I could see her struggling to be happy for me. Janna hated gender stereotypes and, to her, cheerleading was the ultimate way youcould contribute to them.

 

"Oh, Jace, that's wonderful." Janna said, smiling. "I mean, if it makes you happy..."

 

"It doesn't!" I blurted out, feeling defensive. "I mean, Nikki dragged me into it and told me to channel Stel and it just _happened."_

 

Janna laughed, clearly understanding.

 

"I get it. These things just happen sometimes."

 

When I went in, Mom was waiting in the kitchen, pouring cake batter into a pan.

 

"Hi, Jace. How was your day?" She asked, before she spotted the uniform and her eyes lit up. "Honey! You didn't tell me you were trying out for cheer squad!"

 

"I didn't know." I tell her, and she smiled, nodding. Everyone here is used to Nikki and her wild ways. In fact, when I first met Nikki, Mom was worried sick. She only relaxed after it became clear that I was not going to start wearing miniskirts and dating half the football team- a Nikki-esque move- and even took Nikki in, folding her neatly into our extended family.

 

She turned and seized the tape out of a drawer, placing it exactly where the plans for Stel's old ideas for things used to go. In trying to do something unlike Stel, I had just ended up folding myself back into it. I didn't care, much. Anyone who knew Stel or I knew we were different.

* * *

 

It became evident, though, that I was _not_ an adept cheerleader. There was a half hour between practice and school, and in that half hour I was always running home, having forgotten something- ponytail holders, pom-poms, sweater, tassled socks. With all my accessories going on, I felt like Barbie. Or rather, half-demon cheerleader Barbie- ( _now available at your local Wal-Mart)._

 

Running into the palace to retrieve my trademark skirt, Nikki was floored by the sheer amount of oddity that was going on.

 

For some reason, when Estella left, my mom had decided to go through a doll-collecting phase. They were clustered in small groups around the house. Even though I _lived_ in Hell, those dolls were creepy. They even creeped out my Father, Tom.

 

Just the day before, I had caught him with the schoolteacher doll in his arms, turning the dolls one by one. His face had flushed as he saw me.

 

“I feel like they're following me with their eyes.” He explained, jaw setting. I nodded and continued on to my room.

 

Now Nikki whistled lowly, folding her arms. “Break out the Prozac.” She muttered.

 

“Shut up.” I said, feeling the need to defend my mother. “It's just a phase. She'll sell all of these soon enough.”

 

“I hope so.” She said before smiling at me. “Come on, you ready?”

 

I agreed I was ready for the Homecoming game.

 

* * *

 

Cheerleaders milling around the locker room, squealing and shaking their pom-poms at me. It was entirely too loud for me, crushing in all around. I fought it back with every step,my shoulders stiff as I forced myself to focus on just one thing at a time- the way the light hit the red sequins on my short skirt that I despised; the sound of Nikki's voice, quiet and assuring. My mother, smiling brightly from one of the stands.

 

“Alright, girls.” Called Lily, a big smile on her face as she rustled her pom-poms at her hips. The rest of us followed her example, psyching ourselves up for it. “Remember, lots of cheer tonight, please!”

 

The school's fight song started and we lined up, shaking our pom-poms more enthusiastically as we ran out to the crowd.

 

“ _Lily!”_ The crowd cheered, and she gave a peppy wave.

 

“ _Cassie!”_

 

“ _Holly!”_

 

Several more names were called before the crowd went wild, screaming “ _Nikki!”_ as my best friend dashed onto the field, high kicking and cartwheeling. I ran out after, hearing my name yelled.

 

Mom was there, grinning. Annie was watching everything, probably hoping to see someone bleed. Dad was trying to act interested in the cheerleaders, but I knew he was watching the game more than anything else. Star and Janna were somewhere in the crowd, evident from the rainbow-and-green explosions going off in the sky. And every one of them were screaming, “ _Jace!”_

 

But, for some reason, I heard one man, someone I didn't even know, yelling.

 

“ _Stel!”_

_Stel._

He was looking at me, shaking his fist and screaming, when Stel and I looked _very_ different. I shook this off and joined my fellow cheerleaders just as the school mascot, unfortunately dressed as a possum, made it onto the field. They hadn't been stolen yet, so that was a good sign.

 

I danced and shimmied and squealed obediently with the other girls.

 

( _Ra Ra Ree, kick 'em in the knee! Ra ra rass, kick 'em in the- other knee!)_

 

My mind was on other things, even as we formed the pyramid and I ascended to the top, legs shaking, to smile brilliantly at the crowd. But back in my mind, that man was still screaming my sister's name. I felt my legs waver on Lily's palms,then give out.

 

I toppled off the pyramid.

 


	4. Chapter 4

Oddly enough, those fifteen pounds Krystina Charron had gained in her butt and hips probably saved my life. She looked up when she heard the screaming and, grudge against me or not, she jerked out from underneath Lily to stagger backwards and have me land on top of her, breaking the fall. I ended up with only a few scrapes, a black eye, and a minor concussion. Lily, on the other hand, wasn't so fortunate. She broke her nose, had to have it splinted, and subsequently had to kiss her teen-modeling career goodbye.

 

I thanked Krystina, apologized to Lily, and held an ice pack to my eye while the ambulance EMTS bandaged the worst of the scrapes.

 

Compared to my fall, the rest of the game was anti-climactic, including the part where we beat our longtime rivals.

 

“Oh, sweetheart, I'm just so glad you weren't hurt. This is such a miracle.” My Mom repeated, for the eighteenth time.

 

“I know.” I mumbled. “I'm glad Krystina was there to catch me.”

 

Nikki ran up, glad the game was over, no doubt attracting attention from many guys other than her boyfriend, Bill.

 

“Hey, Jace, are you still allowed to go to the afterparty?” She asked, and I looked at my mom pleadingly.

 

“Jace, honey, I don't think that's a good ide-” Mom began, then got cut off by Dad.

 

“Oh, why not? She won't get into any trouble.” He said, and Mom smiled and nodded.

 

“Alright, then. But be back by midnight, okay? I don't want you turning into a pumpkin.”

 

I leapt off the bench and took Nikki's arm to head over to the car, where Holly was going to give us a ride. They had said I wouldn't get into trouble.

 

Later, I would look back on this and wish it had been true for that night.

 

In the background, I heard Star scream.

 

“She'll turn into a _pumpkin?”_ and Janna's laugh, paired with the “It's just a joke, Star.”

 

I was about to meet Luke Johnson.

Nikki was laughing her head off when we pulled up to the gas station.

 

“Shut up!” Holly snapped, sighing as she sprayed lysol everywhere again. “I can't believe you won't help me.”

 

“Hey, its _your_ boyfriend in _your_ car. If it was Bill, I'd be on puke patrol.” Nikki replied. “I don't know why you put up with him doing that anyways. “

 

“Fred apologized and he's not going to do it again!” Holly protested.

 

“We both know that he's going to do it again in a few weeks and you're going to forgive him again.” Nikki said calmly.

 

“Shut up.” Holly grumbled, then rummaged around in her wallet before pulling out two dollars. “Hey, Jace, can you go get me quarters for the vacuum?”

 

“Sure.” I said lightly, taking the dollars from her and sliding out of the car. I headed over to the change station and got her quarters, then began to head back to the car.

 

On the way, I accidentally ran into a guy's path. We both did that small step-to-the-same-side dance before he stopped, chuckling.

 

“Sorry.” I said, smiling. “I was going to get quarters for my friend.”

 

“I see.” He said quietly. He was gorgeous- black messy curls, an olive skintone, brilliantly white teeth, and most striking of all, sea-green eyes. “How did you get that?” He asked, touching my elbow. A light shiver went up my spine.

 

“Fell off a pyramid.” I replied.

 

“Ouch.” He said, flashing those white teeth in a grin at me.

 

“I'm Jace. Jace Diaz.” I introduced myself, extending my hand so he could shake it.

 

“Luke.” He replied. He didn't give me a last name.

 

“Jace!” Holly yelled.

 

I yelled back, “Just a sec!”

 

“I should go.” I said, rounding the corner. “See you around?”

 

He nodded silently.

 

“Do you have my quarters?” Holly asked. I was almost surprised to see I did, and obediently placed the quarters in her hand.

 

“Who was _that_ and where can I get one?” Nikki asked, staring at Luke.

 

“His name is Luke.” I said quietly.

 

“Sounds sexy.” She said, grinning.

 

“You think everything is sexy.” Holly replied, sighing as we slid in the car.

 

“Can you smell anything?” She asked me.

 

“No.” I said quietly as we pulled out. Luke stared at us, a car full of cheerleaders, but I liked to think he was just looking at me. He lifted his hand and waved slightly, and I waved back.

When we got to the party, Holly immediately rushed to her boyfriend's side. He was slumped on the floor and passed out, clearly drunk out of his mind. Holly was _very_ co-dependent.

 

“There's my girl!” Bill hollered and Nikki lit up, running to him and sitting on his lap.

 

“Pass me the quarter.” She called, taking a sip of Bill's beer.

 

“Hey.” A voice said, and I looked over and smiled. Casey was one of the jocks, who Nikki had decided to set me up with. I had strict orders to take his letter jacket if it was offered to me. This would symbolize that, after weeks of casual flirting, we were now An Item.

 

“Hey.” I said, sitting next to him.

 

We played quarters and drank for a while. Then the door opened, and I looked over, eyes widening slightly.

 

It was Luke. He gave me a small nod, then Bill spotted him.

 

“I'll be right back, babe.” He said, kissing Nikki's head and sliding out of his chair.

 

They stood by the door while Bill unfolded dollar bills and passed them to Luke. Luke passed him a small bag in return, then turned to leave. He paused and then looked at me.

 

 _Come on,_ he mouthed.

 

“Jace?” Casey asked, and I nodded slightly.

 

“I'm fine. Just cold.”

 

“Well, if you want, you can take this.” He said.

 

The letter jacket was held out to me. All I had to do was slip my arms into it.

 

 _Jace, come on._ Luke had mouthed.

“I'll be back.” I told Casey. Even as I stood, I knew it was a lie.

 

I followed Luke out to his black car, smiling.

 

“What do you want to do?” he asked. I paused, thinking of what to do. I thought of Nikki, who always knew what she wanted. Then I smiled confidently like she would, and tipped my head to the side.

 

“Take me home?” I asked.

 

“Okay.” He said, smiling slightly, as though he were amused by me.

 

His lips were on mine, his hands running over my sides, and I could _not_ seem to think straight. I tried to keep track of the time, but it was slipping away.

 

Someone was walking by the car, and I froze for just a moment. Luke pulled a lever, dropping us into the backseat. The person walked by, leaving us unnoticed.

 

As his hands slid up my shirt, I pushed them back.

 

“I don't even know your last name.” I muttered.

 

“Johnson.” He whispered in my ear, kissing my neck. “Luke Johnson.”

 

I went under again.

That night, I felt different as I went up the driveway to home. My bra was in my pocket, and I was looking at the moon and knowing one thing. I was never going to feel the same again.

 

I walked inside and said hello to my family, described the party, and headed upstairs. I changed into my pajamas and then sat down, opening the dream journal to talk to my sister the only way I still could.

 

_October 17._

 

_I met a boy today, Stel. His name is Luke Johnson, and he was different. I'm different, now. When he was kissing me I couldn't think straight. He's an excellent kisser, Stel._

 

_I miss you. I wish I could tell you this in person._

 

And I described everything on paper, committing it to memory and to the silent pages my sister would never read.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

###    
  


I had expected Luke to call. Or at least visit. We hooked up right outside my house, for godsakes. But not a call, visit, or text.

 

First I was sad but trying to downplay it. I spent endless days lying in bed alternately crying and eating candy bars. Nikki sat on the bed, reading _Seventeen_ magazine and seeing me through what she called “the Cycle of Heartbreak”.

Then I got pissed. Spent a few more days alternating between ranting and eating candy bars while Nikki trashed him with me. Once, stopping by my door, Annie asked,

  
“Why not track him down and beat him up?”

 

After about two weeks I was in the last phase of Nikki's cycle, “Forgetting and Moving On”. I was at a cheerleader function in the Senior Demon's home, shimmying onstage to our school's fight song and smiling. Holly, having broken up with Fred, was crying silently. Cassie had apparently missed the message from our coach to 'tone things down a bit' and was doing her full gyrating and high-kick routine, much to the dismay of a demon grandmother who was knitting a pair of booties.

 

I smiled and waved a little before we headed offstage. When I saw someone waving back at me, my smile widened. I remembered him from my childhood- he had been our gardener before his legs decided they could no longer bear his weight.

 

Onstage came a different person- what had Dad called him? Something like Mr. Candle. The man sat down and began to speak.

 

“Hello everyone.” He said quietly. “My name is Mr. Candle, and I'm here to teach you to become closer to yourself.

 

The demon grandmother had apparently decided she had had enough of getting close to _anyone,_ because she picked up her knitting project and wheeled her oxygen tank on out of there.

 

“First, I want you to lift your hands in the air, like this.” He said. Several more Senior Demons left. Star and Janna shot their hands up in the air, eyes already shut. A smile played across Star's face as though this were all a game to her.

 

It was like everything was a game to Aunt Star. I envied that.

 

“Ugh. I don't want any of this hippie shit, I need a cigarrette.” A cheerleader whose name I hadn't bothered to learn said.

 

“Hang on, I'm coming with you.” Nikki told her, then looked at me. “You coming, Jace?”

 

“Nah.” I said lightly. “I'm going to go check on my Mom.” I added, jabbing a thumb towards the snack table where Mom was volunteering.

 

When I walked over, Mom smiled at me.

 

“Honey, you looked adorable on stage! Although that one girl was being a bit crazy with the routine, wasn't she?”

 

“Cassie doesn't know when to stop.” I said bluntly.

 

Mom looked out the open door, where Cassie was chainsmoking and complaining loudly on the phone.

 

“Clearly.” Mom said dryly. Then, “Hello! Here, have a cookie- oh, Jace? Can you run to the kitchen in the back and bring back another tray of Macademia nut cookies? They're going like crazy.”

“Yeah, sure.” I said easily and turned, heading to the back. As I stepped in I said,

 

“Hey, Mo- Marco Diaz needs another-”

 

I stopped when he turned around.

 

After all these days of venting, and Luke was here, volunteering for my mother??

 

“Another plate of what?” He asked. I pointed at the cookies in his hands, and he passed the tray to me. Holding onto it, I glared up at him.

 

“Two weeks and you never even _called?_ “ I demanded.

 

“I was going to call.” He said, looking oddly sheepish. “It's a long story.”

 

“Suuure.” I said, drawing out the word. “And why are you volunteering here today?”

 

“Community service from Earth.” He said lightly. “Also a long story.”

 

“No doubt.” I replied, almost giddy from the chance to talk to him again. Then I turned to head back to the table where my Mom was waving at me, only to have him catch my wrist.

 

“Jace.” He said, and my heart skipped a beat at the sound of my name coming from his mouth. “I'll pick you up on Friday?”

 

I thought I was going to explode on the spot. Instead I smiled and said, “Yeah. You better be there.”

 

“Wouldn't miss it for the world.”

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

###    
  


“Jace, honey, you have a math test on Monday. And cheerleading practice.” Mom said. I felt a twinge of irritation shoot up my spine. Ever since Mom had found out about my date with Luke, she had been dropping subtle hints that she didn't want me to go.

 

“Mom, its Friday. I'll be fine, I promise.”

 

“But you'll be tired, and you won't do well.” Mom fretted. “I'm just saying I don't think this is a _good idea._ ” She stressed the words, finally drawing my dad in.

 

“Jace, maybe you should stay home after all.”

 

“Dad!” I exclaimed. “I'll be gone tonight and then I have _two days_ to rest. Luke and I won't do anything bad. I promise, Daddy.”

 

I gave him the biggest eyes I could, until Annie stuck her head in the door.

 

“Jace is going on a date?” She demanded, breaking the tense silence and making the three of us laugh. As always, she brought brightness with her.

 

“I guess she is.” Mom sighed, touching my cheek. “But Jace, sweetheart, _please_ be careful. Don't do anything you don't want to do.”

 

“Best behavior, Mom.” I promised. I heard one honk of a car horn and smiled.

 

Luke was here.

 

I turned and ran out to the car, grinning as I slid in. Luke smiled back at me, leaning in and giving me a kiss. Every nerve along my body hummed.

 

“You look amazing.” He said, voice low. “I have a few errands to run. Is that okay?”

 

I nodded slightly and relaxed back in the seat, smiling. As long as I was with Luke, anything was okay.

 

“It won't take long.” He promised, and we drove off. As I looked out the rearview mirror, I caught Annie staring at Luke silently, judging him.

As we drove, I found out several things about Luke.

 

He preferred it if his last name wasn't used. He said he liked it when people knew _him_ for who he was, and not just for who his family was. I couldn't help but be giddy at that, because that was how _I_ always felt.

 

The girls at school had used to try and get close to me and my sisters- the princesses of Hell would be the height of social circles, would it not? Then they were mad because we weren't effortlessly graceful like my mother, or calm and collected like my father. I didn't like loud music and I cringed when someone raised their voice. Then they were disappointed, because I didn't fit their image of what they had thought a Diaz girl would be.

 

Luke tolerated his mother, liked his brother, and refused to speak of his father. After I asked once, he sidestepped my questions so gracefully I felt I would never find a polite way to ask again.

 

Luke hated when someone was late. It was his biggest pet peeve. He was almost always on time and expected the same of everyone else.

 

The “long story” behind his community service was simple- he sold alchohol and pot to underage kids. Nothing I found too bad or shocking- though it might once have driven me off, something about Luke was magnetic. I was different around him, and I was afraid of going back to being plain old Jace.

 

The errands we were doing tonight was a few deals he had decided to run. Each deal took longer and longer. I was watching the night tick away while sitting in the car, wondering what was going on. I had homework at home I should have been doing.

  
I was feeling a little awful, like the night was a total wash, like I should have listened to my mother and stayed home. It had been sixteen minutes that Luke had been in the last house, the door having shut on a woman who had her hair in ringlets and a baby on her hip.

 

Then the driver door opened and Luke slid in, and I looked over at him.

 

“I think I want to go ho-”

 

I was cut off by his lips on mine, and suddenly I was giddy again and couldn't think. What had I wanted?

“This is the last place.” He said, driving down the road. “There's one more thing we have to do.”

 

“Okay.” I answered, looking around. We were driving into the Arbors- a really fancy section of town, all mansions and old brownstones. Who did Luke have to meet here? All the people I had met here never would have thought of buying alcohol or marijuana from a kid.

 

We stopped in front of one of the biggest mansions, which had cars parked down the street as though there was a party going on. Judging from the music spilling out far too loudly and drunken guests staggering about, that was exactly the situation. The time read seven thirty.

 

I watched the party and listened to the music, already feeling my shoulders hunch, trying to fold in on myself and shelter myself.

 

“Luke,” I said, feeling panic rise in my throat, “I can't go in there. I have sensory issues. It's... It's too loud.”

 

I looked over to see him holding what looked like a home-rolled cigarrette, even though I knew that wasn't what it was. He lit the end of it and pushed the unlit end to my lips after he took a hit. When I shook my head, he smiled at me. “I would take one.” He advised me. “You're going to need it. Plus, it will make sure everything isn't so loud.”

 

I had never smoked before, had never planned on doing it. Even now I could hear my inner voice, which sounded a bit like Estella, advising me not to do it. I pushed my thoughts away, thinking one hit wouldn't hurt. I pushed the thought of my mother's worried face out of my mind, then inhaled. Immediately I felt my lungs trying to expel it, screaming at me, but I held my breath for a few moments before exhaling.

 

The smoke tasted awful.

 

“Hey,” Luke said, “Look here.”

 

I looked at him and opened my mouth to speak, when he squirted something into my mouth. I gagged at the strong taste- was that peppermint?- and nearly choked.

 

“What _was_ that?” I said finally, my tongue feeling heavy and not useful in my mouth. The pot was apparently hitting me.

 

“Breath spray.” He said, squirting a spritz into his own mouth. “Breakfast of champions.”

 

He slid out of the car and opened my door for me, and I got out, trying to speak without sounding like a fool. He was right- the music did seem dulled, the chatter of voices not as intense.

 

“Please warn me next thime.” I heard myself say, wincing at the slurred word. He nodded and we started up the walk, him grabbing the rubber band from his wrist and pulling his curls back into a bunch. I looked at him curiously and he chuckled.

 

“The hair scares them.” He explained, snapping the band into place. I nodded, wondering who _them_ was.

 

The door opened again and there stood a woman who looked almost exactly like Luke. The only difference, I noted, was that her eyes were blue.

 

“Luke Johnson!” She called out, and though she was smiling, her tone was furious. “You were supposed to be here half an hour ago. Your father is raging and I, for one, do _not_ feel like covering for you-”

 

“Sorry Mom.” Luke said lightly, though I noticed his shoulders were tensing. “I got caught up in a few errands. This is Jace Diaz.”

 

His mother looked at me, her angry eyes softening a bit. “Are you Queen Marco's daughter?” She asked, and I nodded slightly. Her smile seemed a bit more genuine. “Always liked her. She did wonderful things to this place.”

 

“We're going to the pool house out back.” Luke butted in quickly. I was glad, because with how stoned I was, I didn't think I could have talked to her.

 

“Talk to your father later and apologize.” She called out. There was no affection in her tone, only a worn exhaustion.

 

When we went to the small house out behind the large mansion, I noticed it was spotless. Everything had a place and everything was in its place. I wondered if a maid did this, and if so, how often. There was no dust.

 

My questions were answered when Luke bent down and straightened the coat rack to be in the middle of one of the tires. Everything here was his doing.

 

“Come on.” He said, smiling and reaching for my hand. “We can watch a movie...”

 

The door opened and a man with Luke's coloring came in, flushed red from intoxication. There was a glass of hard liquor in his hand. He didn't notice me at all, and I backed into the shadows, into the small bathroom Luke kept perfectly neat.

 

I caught a glimpse of my reflection- face pale, eyes distant and slightly bloodshot, turning the pale blue of the sclera pale purple instead. I was almost obviously stoned.

 

“You're late.” The man who was his father said.

 

“I'm sorry.” Luke said, looking- was he _scared? -_ “Something came-”

 

There was a resounding _thwack_ in the room and I recoiled, watching as Luke stumbled back, the left side of his face bright red from his father's slap.

 

“Don't make excuses.” He snapped. “You're a _Johnson,_ Luke, for godsakes. We have a _reputation.”_ Another _thwack._ “Look at me when I'm talking to you!”

 

Luke raised his green eyes to meet his father's, and I was shocked to find they were bright with unshed tears.

 

“Never be late again.” His father snarled, and Luke nodded mutely.

 

His father slammed the door as he left, the house shaking. I looked in the mirror again, feeling perfectly sober, the experience shocking me out of my high.

 

Luke shuddered in the middle of the floor, inhaling brokenly as he stepped towards the bed.

 

I went to him and kissed him softly, pulling him to me.

 

“Don't.” He said quietly, his voice rough. “Don't touch me.”

 

But he wasn't upset, so I pulled him onto the bed with me.

 

“Don't touch me.” He said again, softly. He was leaning into my touch, my hands stroking his hair, trying to brush away the hurt.

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

###    
  


After that day, it was though Luke was more open to me than anyone else. I alone saw his vulnerable side. He came by every day and I rushed out the door to meet him. I felt guilty as Annie watched me go every time, a look of fear beginning to dawn in her eyes. I think she was afraid that I was going to leave like Estella, or like our Aunt Avery, who hadn't been seen since I was twelve and she got drunk and married yet another stranger in Vegas. We heard from her once in a while, but she hadn't been back yet.

 

Sometimes when Luke showed up we ran errands while I did homework in the car. Sometimes we drove, one of his hands resting in the crook between my shoulderblades, right in between where I hoped wings would someday grow. It was as though he had already claimed me. Wings were an extremely intimate thing for the kids of the fallen angels like me. If you touched our scars, you saw our memories. It was also a soft spot to evoke intense pleasure or intense pain. The thought this gave me sent shivers down my spine every time.

 

Sometimes we argued lightly over music. He liked death metal, which was far too loud. I liked pop and punk rock, and some Broadway hits.

 

“What is this?” He asked once, opening the car with my favorite milkshake to find me singing Katy Perry quietly.

 

“This is music.” I told him smugly.

 

“No.” He said bluntly, hitting a preset. Death metal poured out of the speakers, guitars thrashing and someone screaming at the top of their lungs. “ _This_ is music.”

 

“No, that's someone screaming.” I corrected, hitting a preset I had changed a few days ago. “This is music.” But Katy Perry was gone, someone singing about Dandruff shampoo in her wake. Luke grinned, snapping his fingers to the tune.

 

“I like it.” He said. “Much better than all that other stuff you listen to.”

 

“Shut up.” I told him, taking a sip of the milkshake he extended to me.

Other days were tender, the ones I actually held closest to my heart. He would pull up and I would slide in the car, wondering what we were going to do that day. Then, silently, he would look at me and I would know without words, without actions, that he just needed me.

 

That swept wonder into my heart, that all he needed on those days was my presence. Then I would pull him into my arms and stroke his hair. He would close his eyes, listening to my heartbeat, and gradually drift into sleep. I would look down at his face, which seemed so mature in waking hours, now totally open, so childlike, and smile before falling asleep slowly myself.

 

Outside the doors Annie would scratch on the pavement and watch me for a few moments before going inside to play or to do other things. I didn't know what.

 

When the sun went down I would wake up and shake him awake. He would kiss me sleepily and then drive off in the odd red light that filled Hell.

 

Mom made no more complaints about my relationship with him, but I saw the worry in her eyes every time I ran out the door to meet him.

 

My father had never complained about it. He would sit next to my mother at night and read. His job was to lean over and flick on the porch light, reminding me that it was curfew.

 

Luke would show up with unexpected gifts- flaming rose bouquets, new books he thought I would like, candy bars and milkshakes and sodas. It was almost like magic. He was always thinking of me, and it took my breath away. I couldn't remember a time when I had always been the most important thing on someone's mind.

 

Everything was perfect- until it wasn't.

 


	8. Chapter 8

###    
  


I learned that Luke divided everything into black and white. It never fell between. People were either toleratable or assholes. Life was either exciting and good or boring and dull. Conversation was either fulfilling or pointless.

 

His life was consistently in the former. Mine was consistently in the latter. My cheerleading was boring. My school life was pointless because according to him “you already know all of that. Why aren't your teachers actually _teaching_ you?” Ninety percent of the people I hung out with were assholes. In fact, one of the only people he could stand was Nikki. He thought she was bitchy to almost everyone (which I actually couldn't deny), but had spunk. She amused him.

 

One night as I was getting ready my mom spoke up.

 

“Jace, when Luke comes tonight, I want you to tell him to come in and introduce himself.”

 

“Tonight?” I asked my mom. She was serious? On Trivia Night?

 

“We just want to meet the boy. Its not like we're asking you to sacrifice him to your grandfather.” She said jokingly, and I couldn't help but chuckle.

 

“I know, but _tonight?_ You guys are _sharks_ tonight, and you know it.”

 

Mom couldn't deny this. However, she just smiled and continued down the stairs. “I mean it, Jace. I want to meet this boy.”

 

I was forced to accept that there was no way to get out of this. When I went out to meet Luke I simply opened the door and lowered my voice.

 

“They want to meet you.” I said.

 

“They?” He questioned, getting out of the car.

 

“My parents.” I told him. “And Annie, and probably Star and Janna.”

 

He nodded, looking completely at ease as he reined his hair in.

 

“Good idea.” I said, trying hard to joke. “We'll spring the hair on them next time.”

 

He smiled at me and took my hand, and I pushed the door open.

 

“You have to give us the answer.” I heard Dad saying patiently. “First Earth city to have a million people?”

 

“Tom, _shut up.”_ I heard my mother snap, irritated. “I can't think with you guys teasing me like this.”

 

“Tick-tock.” Janna sang, grinning.

 

“I have a strong aural feeling it's New York.” Aunt Star told Mom, and I heard Mom snort and shake her head.

 

“Maybe Beijing?” She suggested, before Dad laughed. “Time's up! You don't get that round!”

 

“Mom, Dad,” I broke in, deciding this was a good time to interrupt as any. “This is my boyfriend. Luke, this is my Mom and Dad. And that's Aunt Janna and her wife, Aunt Star. They're the Queens of Mewni.”

 

Mom looked up at Luke, still distracted a bit by the game.

 

“Do you happen to know the first city to have a million people?” She asked, and Dad broke in.

 

“Marco, the round is ov-”

 

“It's London, isn't it?” Luke asked, and everyone went silent.

 

“Well, is it?” Mom demanded of Dad, and Dad looked down at the card.

 

“It is.” He confirmed, and Luke smiled.

 

Annie skittered into the room barefoot and scratching on the wooden walls, then froze as she spotted Luke. Her tongue darted out and stuck to her eye for just a moment before she retracted it and glared at Luke, playing with her tail.

 

“Who the _fuck_ are you supposed to be?” She asked, and I felt my face light up in a mortified blush.

 

“Annie!” My mom broke in, also mortified, but then stopped.

 

Luke was laughing- a full on grin on his face, his green eyes light and his curls bouncing as his shoulders shook.

 

“I'm Luke Johnson.” He told Annie, who was now chewing on the end of her tail, which Mom gently pulled out of her mouth.

 

“You look a little like Wyborne Lovat.” She said.

 

“ I kind of do.” He admitted. Then, “You like Coraline?” He asked her, looking mildly impressed. “That movie scared me when I was your age.”

 

“Jace and I watched it a while ago. The other mother is scary, sure, but I could take her.” Annie said, confidently. Luke laughed again.

 

“I'm sure you could.” He said, then leaned over and kissed my cheek. “We'll be needing to go soon, our movie is in forty five minutes.”

 

“Do you know what they call Fossilized Tears of the Gods?” Janna asked, looking perplexed. I was stumped, but Luke just smiled and threw the answer out.

 

“Amber.” He said as he turned on his heel. “Right?”

 

“Holy shit.” Janna breathed out, looking impressed.

 

As we left, I spoke to him in a quiet voice.

 

“How do you know all of that? Are you a trivia master?”I asked, and he grinned.

 

“My grandfather sent me a trivia book when I was a kid, used to quiz me on it.” He said. It was clear he didn't want to talk about it anymore.

I had never seen Luke mad before that night.

 

Thinly Veiled Corporate Greed Month was coming up, and Luke had wanted me to help him pick out a gift for her, except he called it something like Christmas.

 

However, I had been held up at home. First I had to help Annie get ready for my cheerleading award ceremony. Then, when I had been ready to go meet Luke at the mall, I had seen Nikki. She was doing her usual driving route she did when she was upset.

 

She always drove past Mcdonald's and got sodas, then would drive down the highway listening to a CD she had made just for days like this. She would drive out to the country and do a loop, then stop at one of the largest mansions and cuss out her second out of five stepfathers. Then she would drive back into town and go home and read Seventeen magazines. I had spent endless nights riding shotgun as she drove, cussing out her stepfather with her, watching as she would sing, slamming her hand off the dashboard. Whether to make sure the car kept working or to emphasize a certain lyric, I was never sure.

 

I had five minutes to make it to the mall to meet Luke, but when I saw her like that I couldn't leave her alone. So I drove alongside her and threw one of her empty cigarrette packs at her, bouncing it off her window. She saw me and obviously began cursing me out, but I just gestured for her to pull over.

 

We went into one of the parking lots, where we sat on the hot hood of her car and I held her while she cried.

 

“I fucked it up again, Jace.” She said quietly. “I mean, I was sitting there with Jeff- the ice cream guy, and we were just talking in the mall, when things got a little physical-”

 

“Things got physical at the Dippin' Dots stand?” I said incredulously, and she glared at me.

 

“God, not like that! We were just kissing! Anyways, Bill showed up. And he saw us.” At my gasp, she let out another sob. “Jace, he was there with his whole family, even his grandmother. And his Gam-gam-”

 

“Gam-gam?” I asked. I would have made fun of her if it weren't a more serious situation.

 

“His Gam-Gam loved me.” She said mournfully. “And he came over and told me he was _disappointed_ in me, which was just cold. I mean, call me a bitch, I don't care, but _disappointed?_ That's just mean. And that was bad enough, but then he took his promise ring back.”

 

“Promise rings are stupid enough already.” I said, then proceeded to comfort her in the necessary function.

 

There was no way I was going to be able to meet Luke. I would explain it to him later. He would understand. He _had to._

 

I went home and got ready, then went to the cheerleader function. Due to a quick arrangement, Jake was escorting Nikki. By some coincidence or if it was the cheerleaders punishing me for the last couple practices I had skipped, I was paired with Casey. I don't know how I had ever thought he looked good looking, especially when he stabbed me with the corsage, on purpose.

 

Our principal started a long winded speech about athletic and academic excellence which I tried to pay attention to but could _not._ I could see Luke standing at the back of the stadium, his eyes unreadable. I hoped I hadn't hurt him too badly.

 

When it was over I couldn't wait, bouncing on my toes as my mother tried to take a picture of me in my certificate.

 

“Why isn't it taking?” My mom asked. I was about to have a heart attack. I leaned forwards and pulled the lens cap off and Mom blushed, laughing.

“See, this is why you need those Earth classes.” Janna teased. Mom took the picture and I shoved both lens cap and certificate back to her.

 

“Can I go home with Luke?” I asked, kissing Annie's head, who grimaced and wiped it off. She wasn't one for kisses or much sentimentality.

 

“Sure.” Dad interrupted. “Marco, we need to go now so we don't get stuck in the traffic jam.”

 

I ran outside, where Luke was waiting, and slid in his car easily.

 

“Where were you?” He asked quietly.

 

“I'm sorry.” I said, smiling sheepishly. “I was honestly going to come today, but Nikki screwed her relationships up and was _devastated_ and I couldn't just leave her. I won't let it happen again, promise, and we can go tomorrow.”

 

We drove for a few minutes in silence before getting stuck in a traffic jam, just as Dad had predicted.

 

“It's just,” He said, voice tense, “I waited for you for a really long time.”

 

I did feel guilty, but I also felt a little silly. It was just me accidentally missing something small, not the end of the world, and I kissed his cheek teasingly.

 

“Come on, don't be such a baby.” I said lightly.

 

Then my head cracked off the window behind me, my right side of my face aching. The sound whiplashed through the car. It was with a shock that I realized he had punched me. And then the pain hit.

 

“Oh, my god.” I said, tears welling up as I touched my face.

 

“Don't _ever_ fucking talk to me like that again.” He said, voice low as the car began to move again. I pressed my aching face against the cold window and looked out at the surroundings, in shock.

 

Luke had _hit_ me. The realization shocked me to my core, and hurt me. Why would he hit me? I had done nothing wrong at all.

 

When we parked outside my house Luke kissed me, more gently than he had ever kissed me. Despite the hurt and shock that was coursing through my system, he still managed to make every nerve ending light up.

 

“I love you.” He told me quietly.

 

It was the first time he had said it, and it should have been a big deal. But it wasn't. All I could feel was the throbbing pain in my face where he had punched me, and the icy fear and hurt that had crept into my veins. All I could see was his face right before he had hit me.

 

He had flushed red just like his father, his normally sea green eyes going stormy and dark and black. His muscles had pulled, tensing as he had scowled and struck.

When I stepped out of the car, I saw that Janna was carrying a baby turtle across the road. She moved slowly, the turtle cupped carefully in her hands so it wouldn't get hurt.

 

At that moment I would have given anything to be the same way, safe and sheltered in my mother's arms.

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

###    
  


_December 1_

 

_Stel, last night I said something and Luke_

 

_December 1_

 

_Luke hit me last night. I don't know how I made him so mad_

 

_December 1_

 

_Something bad happened tonight, I thought he loved me but_

 

_December 1_

 

_Why did he hurt me? I've never done anything to_

 

_December 1_

 

_Stel, I have never needed you more. And you're gone. God, I need advice. Last night Luke_

 

I couldn't put into words what had happened, no matter how hard I tried. But every time I closed my eyes I saw his face just before he hit me, saw how the green eyes I knew so well had darkened to black. I felt my breath catch every time my face gave a throb, a painful reminder of the night before.

 

When I had arrived home with the bruises on my face, everyone had been shocked.

 

“Who did this to you?” Dad growled as he took my face in his hands, examining it from all angles. “Do you know their names? I'll kill them.”

 

“Honey, what happened?” My mom asked.-

 

I could have told them both right then. I could have opened my mouth and let it spill out. I could have told them how Luke turned into a monster before my eyes. I could have described the way my head cracked off the window, how the realization had felt like a second punch to the face.

 

I could have ended it right then.

 

But I didn't. Instead I smiled in exhaustion, fighting back tears.

 

“I got caught in the crowd.” I heard myself lie easier than I had ever thought it would have been. “Someone accidentally hit me.”

  
  


Then I went to my room and cried for a while. After that I scrubbed my face and looked in the mirror. There was a myriad of colors swirling across my face- dark purple, blue, green, dark brown, yellow. It was like standing in stained glass, only I could feel the pain. This was no artwork that would vanish as soon as I moved a few feet.

 

I found myself clinging to the sink, my fingers making dents in the soft wood.

 

“He loves you.” I whispered to the reflection in the mirror. “He said he loves you.” I could hear the desperation in my voice, how I was trying to convince myself. “ _He loves you.”_ My entire form was trembling. “And if he loves you, it _will not_ happen again.”

 

“What won't happen again?” Asked a voice, and I was startled to see that Annie had gotten into my room unnoticed. I smiled at her faintly, trying to think up a quick lie.

 

“We just- we had an argument last night, and he was a little bit mean, that's all. But he apologized, and that means he won't do it again.” I said. Still trying to reassure myself.

 

I saw my little sister's expression harden as she folded her arms. She may have been only eight years old at this point, but she was fierce.

 

“If he's mean to you again, tell me.” She ordered. “I'll take care of him.”

 

I nodded and she relaxed, holding out her hand.

 

“C'mon!” She said cheerfully. “You said you were going to watch Ella Enchanted with me.”

 

I took my sister's hand and, together, we went down the stairs.

* * *

 

The house was dark when the pair of scissors slid out of nowhere, cutting open a portal.

 

“Mom, Dad, I'm back!”

 

My brother's cheerful voice lit up the house as he spoke. “I missed you so m- hey, where is everyone?”

 

Silence.

 

“Mom? Dad? Jace? Annie?” He asked. In a second he was going to find us. As my mom flipped the lights on I dove out of my hiding spot, wrapping my arms around my brother tightly.

 

“Milo!! I missed you, dude!”

 

My little brother grinned at me, his eyes widening when he caught a glimpse of my face. I could see his eyes beginning to shine and I laughed.

 

“Milo, I'm fine.” I assured him before any tears could fall. “I just got elbowed in the crowd a few days ago. Now, you _have_ to tell us all about drama camp.”

 

“I will!” He promised, and I sighed in relief, the possibility of crying gone. “But first, who is _he?”_

 

He asked, pointing at Luke. I smiled and stepped back to Luke, who slipped an arm around my lower back. The tips of his fingers were digging into my skin just a little too hard, or was that my imagination?

 

“This is my boyfriend, Luke Johnson.” I said, then smiled up at Luke. “Luke, this is Milo, my little brother.”

 

The pressure of his fingers relaxed.

 

“Not that little! I'm only a year younger than you!” Milo protested, and I grinned.

 

“If Estella called me her little sister when I was only a bit younger than her, I get to call you my little brother. How is Olyver, by the way?”

 

His cheeks darkened slightly in a blush and I grinned, triumphant.

 

“He's good.” Milo said, and I saw my Dad beginning to go into protective mode.

 

“Tell us everything about drama camp.” Mom said as she brought out the cake, no doubt to avoid a disaster.

 

I sat down at the table, smiling brightly as Milo lit up, chattering away.

 

The only thing I needed to make this moment perfect was Estella.

* * *

 

Janna had been embarking on a series of different ideas to try and keep my Mom busy. Some of these ideas had been rejected, like the idea of signing up to teach karate. She had accepted to take classes from Queen Ponyhead, however, which was surprising. They hadn't been on the best terms in their youth.

 

When Mom had come home, she reported in an exhausted and exasperated tone that Queen Ponyhead was every bit as crazy as she had been when she was fourteen. However, this didn't stop her from instructing my mother, which resulted in misshapen vases, lopsided bowls, uneven plaques, and some piece for me that looked a bit like the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

 

However, Queen Ponyhead's class was over, and now Janna and my mother were sitting at the table and discussing new options.

 

“Tai Kwon Do?” She suggested. For once, my mother was dressed in a simple red hoodie and a pair of jeans, her ponytail high and sleek as usual. She snorted, sipping on her mug of coffee.

 

“Janna, please. I'm leagues above the others and you know it.”

 

“True.” Janna said. I could hear the smile in her tone as I stood at the counter, fixing my ponytail. It was just after cheerleading practice and I was exhausted, but it was good to just hear them talking. I poured myself a glass of coffee and stayed at the counter. “Cake decorating?” Suggested Janna.

 

My mom made a noncommittal noise.

 

“It's fattening. And boring. Plus I can already decorate cakes just fine.” She said.

 

There was a few minutes of silence while I joined them at the table and drank my coffee.

 

“Photography?” Janna asked finally.

 

My mom's face lit up, and I knew they had found their next class.

 

“That would be a good idea.” She agreed. “ Jace and I had talked about taking them together before. She has a natural eye, and...”

 

“And you need to learn how to get people's heads in pictures consistently.” I said, grinning at her.

 

“So you want to take photography classes with us?” Janna asked, turning to me. I saw my mother wondering how I would react, until she spoke.

 

“You aren't too busy with cheerleading, are you?” She asked, and I shook my head.

 

“No. Photography would be a really good thing to learn.” I said, smiling. Mom smiled back at me, and the matter was settled.

* * *

 

Our photography class was in the Pixie dimension, which almost made mom chicken out- apparently she had had some bad experience there as a kid, two of her friends almost marrying the pixie queen and causing mass chaos. Janna managed to convince her not to back out, and we arrived at the destination and went into the room.

 

There was a variety of people there- Mewmans, Humans, Demons, goblins, Buffrog and his youngest daughter Katrina, and even a couple of trolls. Of course, there were also pixies. We all wandered around the room, examining photos that were hung by clothespins. I was startled to find a photo of me from when I was twelve.

  
  


I was smiling at the camera, my eyes bright. I wore my usual tank top and capris combo, and had Annie on my shoulders. Estella was doing bunny ears to me in the background.

 

Who had taken this photo? I didn't even remember the day, not that much, but only one person used to take photos-

 

Then the person walked into the room, all three feet of him, and I grinned, pushing through the crowd.

 

“Arry!?” I asked. I couldn't believe it. Arry had been one of my best friends when I was younger. I had had the biggest crush on him, and spent weeks working up the courage, only to do nothing. It had been a while since I had seen him.

 

He looked just as startled to see me, and grinned back.

 

“Jace! It's good to see you!” He said, his voice soft as usual. He held out his hand for a handshake. I wasn't as professional and instead hugged him tightly, making sure not to crush his wings. There was a hesitant moment before he hugged me back. After a minute or two of small talk, I went back to my seat and we began the class.

 

I was unaware of the pale face in the window, crushing a shard of pixie glass between his fingers.

 

Sea green eyes turned black and stormy with rage.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

###    
  


It seemed like Luke was trying to make up to me for the punch to my face three days before. Except for the too-hard grip on my side, he hadn't hurt me again. He was as gentle as a lamb. He would drop unexpected gifts in my lap, CDS he knew I loved, milkshakes, sodas, all without me asking. He was being ridiculously sweet to me as though he was afraid I was going to leave.

 

I should have left, but one thing held me back against all odds.

 

I loved Luke. I was sure he wasn't going to hurt me again. And _he_ loved me. He said so.

 

I had almost forgiven him for hurting me.

 

But, even as I closed my eyes and sank into the feeling of his lips on mine, his hand gently around my shoulders, I was almost waiting for it to happen again.

 

During the times when he was most gentle, his face before the _incident_ happened would pop into my mind, unbidden.

 

I wouldn't leave Luke, though. I wouldn't. He loved me and I loved him.

I had started going into houses with Luke when he made his deals, preferring that to staying alone in the car. I learned the names and habits of all the people he dealt to. I talked to a fellow cheerleader who was nicknamed Tangerine because of her ridiculously orange hair while Luke made the trade with her boyfriend. I helped a man named Kara do dishes while Luke and his wife got stoned together. I played with the baby Aaron, while his Mom weighed pot on the kitchen scales.

 

One of these days we pulled up to a house that was a pale blue, like a drop of water in the midst of Hell. It was refreshing. As we stepped out of the car, a big golden retriever appeared out of nowhere.

 

I immediately melted- animals were one of my favorite things. I scratched at the dog's ears and cooed that he was a beautiful boy while we went inside, awed by the dog.

 

“That's Gatsby.” Said a woman's voice. I looked up, startled to see her. I had almost forgot that we were here for one of Luke's deals.

 

“Luke sucks at introductions.” The woman said, and I nodded, knowing this to be the truth. “Luke, Dave is in the kitchen.” She told him, then smiled warmly at me. She seemed to be only a few years older than me- maybe twenty one at the most. “I'm Aline.” She said.

 

“Jace Diaz.” I replied, holding out my hand. She shook mine, the stack of silver bracelets on her arm tinkling like bells.

 

“Hey man, how much do I owe you?” Asked Dave, who seemed to be half-demon, like me, while Aline seemed to be human. This wasn't unheard of- in fact, had become a bit popular after my father and my mother fell in love.

 

“Seventy-five.” Luke said. “And a hit for me.”

 

I didn't know it at the time, but Aline and I would soon become the best of friends.

 

As the photography class progressed a week after I met Aline, Arry was talking to me as we walked. We were in a grocery store on Earth, supposed to be getting photos of things that struck us. I was struggling for inspiration.

 

I had gone to the milk and frozens aisle, only to find a few people already there. It wouldn't be original. My mother was rounding up a collection of food and throwing them in a cart, snapping photos at the same time. Apparently we needed groceries.

 

Janna had decided to go dramatic and was standing at the deli. She had a bright yellow squash on a cutting board. Next to it was a fresh piece of steak, bloody and raw.

 

“Nice contrast.” Arry commented, smiling as we walked by.

 

“Aunt Janna? She likes contradicting _everything._ “ I said, fondly. “If there's a contrast to be found, she's the girl to do it.”

 

Arry nodded as he hovered slightly off the ground, making it easier for me to talk to him.

 

“So, what's new in your world?” He asked, and I smiled, thinking.

 

“Well, Estella went to another school in a different dimension and won't tell anyone where.” I began. “I'm a cheerleader, and you know how much I _loathe_ the scene-” Arry chuckled, making me smile as I waved an arm. “Oh, and I have a boyfriend. His name is Luke Johnson, and he's _wonderful._ ”

 

_When he isn't angry with me._

 

I didn't notice this, but Arry's smile faded.

 

And, a few aisles down, someone was watching, hidden in the shadows.

 

“Five minutes till the end of class!” Arry called. Having not found anything that had struck me, I panicked and went back to the frozen aisle. Maybe there was something there.

 

My gaze fell on a woman who was standing over the milks. She was old, her hair gray and her skin pale. I raised the camera to my eye, taking a photo.

 

In the picture, every detail is perfect. The woman has just exhaled, and you can see the puff of white in the air.

 

It was at the end of the photography class a week after the grocery visit. The bruises on my face had _finally_ faded, and I was sure I could put the incident behind us.

  
Luke was going to pick me up, having wanted to run a few errands.

I was leaning against the wall, sitting with Arry. He seemed content to wait with me, claiming it was dangerous, even for a half-demon girl.

 

“Oh, by the way, I got you something!” I said brightly. Arry looked at me hesitantly and I pulled out the gift I had for him.

 

In my dimension, December was all about Thinly Veiled Corporate Greed Month. But I knew that in other dimensions, sentimental gifts were often given.

 

Arry unwrapped the gift, his face lighting up.

 

It was a photo of us. Well, everyone was in the photo, but it was clear my mom had meant to get us. In the photo, I'm sitting on the swings next to Arry, headphones around my neck. We're engaged in some sort of discussion that I had been passionate about, judging by the blur that was my waving hand. He was grinning at me.

 

Of course, there was Annie playing in the sandbox, building a sandcastle. Estella was sitting with Annie, face partially turned from the camera.

 

“Jace, this is so wonderful.” He said, grinning at me. I grinned back, feeling a lightness I hadn't felt for weeks.

 

“Anything for you. You're my best friend.” I said lightly. He took my hands and looked me in the eye, smiling.

 

“Merry Christmas.” He said.

 

_Christmas, right. Grandfather had some sort of grudge on the guy its named for._

 

“Merry Christmas.” I replied.

 

Luke had pulled up by then, and I pulled my hands out of Arry's and headed to the car, opening it.

 

“What was that?” Luke asked, after Arry had stepped back through the dimensional portal and closed it with a pair of scissors.

 

“What?” I asked, looking after where Arry had vanished, startled. “Oh, Arry? He was one of my best friends when I was little. I gave him a Christmas present and he shook my hands, that's it.”

 

I could see Luke turning red, right along his cheekbones. His eyes were darkening, and I felt an awful sense of dread come over me.

 

“Bullshit.” He said. “You like him, don't you?”

 

I felt fear creep up my veins. Was this really going to happen again?

 

“No, I don't.” I said quietly, also feeling angry. He had _no right,_ I was faithful to him. Why was he so suspicious of me? Over the past weeks he had been constantly calling and checking in, seeing where I was and who was with me, sometimes demanding photos so he knew I was telling the truth. “And just because I'm talking to a friend does _not_ give you the right to assume I'm fucking them or something, Luke. I love you, and only you, and the fact that you don't trust m-”

 

You could almost hear the moment his anger went out of control, like an audible snap. His eyes went black, and I saw to my horror that it wasn't an illusion. His eyes were _black,_ beginning to fade into the whites of his eyes.

 

Next thing I knew he had seized my head and slammed me off the window behind me. My head filled with buzzing, but he was still going, screaming and lashing out.

 

A slap across of my face.

 

A punch to my stomach, making me double over so his next blows landed on my back- and then I screamed. He had hit the skin between my wing marks, where it was the most sensitive, and everything went white for a moment.

 

Then, a horribly strange moment of normalcy when I was terrified, the car started. He pulled away as I tried to catch my breath again, unable to conceal the tears that poured down my face.

 

“You know what you did.” He said, voice low and rough and devoid of pity. “I love you, Jace, and I won't let you betray me.”

 

_December 14_

 

_Estella, where are you? I need help. I can't go to Mom, this would crush her. Dad would lose his temper, and then he would be horribly guilty. Annie is only eight. She won't understand. And Luke's cut me off from everyone else._

 

_Stel, I thought he was perfect, but he's a monster. He beat me up today, and it hurt so bad I couldn't breathe. All because I shook Arry's hand and told him Merry Christmas._

 

_He's crazy. I know I should break up with him, but I love him._

 

_Does that make me weak?_

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

###    
  


We were back at Aline's, Luke and Dave smoking in the kitchen. Aline was sitting on the couch and chainsmoking a cigarette. She offered me one, but I shook my head.

 

“She's a cheerleader.” Luke called from the next room. “She has a reputation to maintain.”

 

“My dad has a really good sense of smell.” I told Aline, talking over Luke. “And if I ever smoked they would know right away and probably kill me.”

 

Aline nodded, then smiled at me. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. Despite the fact that she lived in hell, she had a sort of innocence in her eyes, almost childlike.

 

“You're a cheerleader?” She asked. “Man, I always wanted to be one.”

 

“I am.” I confirmed, sighing. “And I _really_ hate it.”

 

There was a moment of silence before Aline threw her head back and laughed, the ash of her cigarrette falling and hitting the floor, scattering.

 

“That's so bold!” She said, grinning at me. “I love when people just throw their opinion out there like that. It's so great. Why don't you just stop being a cheerleader if you don't like it?”

 

I paused, looking down into my hands and shrugging.

 

“It makes my mom happy, to come to a game and see me cheering. And so what if it's a little too loud for me? If it makes her smile, I'll do it.”

 

“You're a pretty great kid, Jace.” She said, bumping my shoulder playfully. “I like you.”

 

“I like you too.” I replied, smiling at her.

* * *

 

I was improving in photography by leaps and bounds. I liked using the old film cameras instead of the digital ones. I liked the peace of being in the darkroom, just silence and the pans of chemicals, sheets of paper, all waiting to be used.

 

My mom was clearly improving too, able to get someone's head in the photo every single time. I enjoyed these rare mother-daughter moments. I was able to forget about the various bruises on my arms and legs for a while, block Luke's angry eyes out of my head.

 

Just now, in the photography class, Arry was walking around and looking at all of our photos. This week he had asked us to show something that was really important to us, someone that mattered.

 

Mom's picture was of Dad. He was sitting on the couch in a rare moment without needing to complete any of his kingly jobs. His tie was crooked and his long hair was a little ruffled. But what struck me the most was his face, his three eyes crinkled and a bright smile on, affection clear in his eyes. In his hands was a video game controller, and Annie sat on the floor in front of him. I sat on the couch beside him, punching buttons in my attempt to win.

 

All three of us had our heads in the picture.

 

Arry looked at it and smiled. “That looks very sweet, Queen Marco.” He said, and my mom lit up.

 

“Well, my kids and Tommy are the most important things in my life.” She said, shrugging one shoulder.

 

Arry praised Janna's photo, which was a perfect example of who she and Star were. She had set the camera on a tripod and turned the self timer on, then her and Star had hung upside down for a full moment, snapping their heads up to smile just as the camera flashed.

 

The effect was their hair sticking up wildly in different directions, their eyes sparkling with the blood rush and something mischievous. It made me smile just to look at it.

 

Then Arry came to my photo and picked it up lightly, looking down at it.

 

My photo was of Luke. He was standing in front of Aline's house, the keys dangling from his hand. His hair was in wild curls around his face.

 

I had been following him with the camera for days, waiting for a good opportunity. When he had turned to talk to Dave, I had called out to him.

 

 _Luke,_ I had said, and he turned around just as I took the photo. His green eyes are eerily bright and there's a hint of irritation in them. But more what I noticed was the crooked half smile he gave me and the affection that also shone out of his face.

 

“It seems,” Arry said, voice low, “That you know him well. Maybe more than he would like you to.”

 

I paused, considering for a moment before smiling softly at the photo.

 

“Yeah.” I said quietly. “I guess I do.”

* * *

 

Jace had been acting differently lately, Annie had noticed. She had started wearing _jeans_ and long sleeved shirts, claiming she was cold, but that made no sense to Annie. They lived in _Hell,_ for crying out loud! It was almost impossible to be cold.

 

Maybe she was hiding something. But what, Annie didn't know.

 

She paused in her chewing on an end of her hair and looked up.

 

Perfect- her babysitter was asleep.

 

She pushed open the door silently and skittered out of the room, pausing at the base of the stairs.

 

Jace had brought her boyfriend over to talk, and they had gone up to Jace's room right away.

 

Annie knew she didn't like Luke. She wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because Jace was spending so much time away from her. Or maybe it was because Jace had said he was mean to her once.

 

Maybe it was because she noticed that Jace came home sometimes, with her eyes red from crying.

 

Something was off about him, and Annie was going to find out what.

 

“FBI agent Annie Diaz is on the case.” She whispered, climbing up the stairs and turning her little tape recorder on.

 

“Report- all seems quiet. The hallway is empty. I'm going to check on Jacey and Luke now. Hopefully they aren't doing anything mushy. It's gross.” She whispered, and then walked to Jace's door, listening and holding the tape recorder so it would record whatever was going on inside.

 

Jace's voice shot out, sounding scared and upset.

 

“Luke, I swear to god I haven't said anything to anyone-”

 

Annie crept closer, looking through the crack in the door. Jace was standing close to Luke, her blue eyes wide and convincing. And Luke was holding Jace's shoulders tight, too tight. It was going to bruise.

 

“Liar.” He said, his voice rough. “You've told _someone,_ haven't you?”

 

Jace shook her head frantically, and Luke shoved her. Hard. Jace stumbled back a couple of steps and steadied herself. Annie saw that her eyes were getting wet and wondered if she had time to go get the gun she had been given.

 

“Don't _fucking_ lie to me.” He yelled, voice raising. He walked forwards and shoved Jace again, and this time Jace toppled out of sight. He went down next to her, and Annie made her decision.

 

She burst into the room and saw Jace sit up, startled. Luke was on top of her, and Annie growled at him, her fingers clenching.

 

“What the _hell_ are you doing to Jacey?” She asked, eyes narrowed. “I'll give you three seconds to explain before I call Papa and tear you up.”

 

“It's a game.” Jace blurted out, sitting up. Her eyes were dry now, but it looked like she had been crying.

 

“ _What?”_ Annie snapped.

 

“I was thinking of trying out for a play they're doing up on Earth.” Jace spit out, smiling as she came closer to Annie. “It has a girl in it who gets hurt a lot but stands up for herself one day. Luke was helping me act out the scene where she stands up for herself after she gets hurt.”

 

Her words sounded tight and funny somehow, but Annie knew that for some reason she wasn't going to say anything.

 

Luke had _hurt_ Jace. Annie wanted to kill him on the spot.

 

But what if Jace was telling the truth and Luke was only helping Jace act??

  
Annie paused and looked over at Luke.

 

“If I ever find out you hurt my sister, you'll wish you were never born.” She snarled, then turned to Jace.

 

“I need to get back before my babysitter notices I left, but can we watch that movie with the funny mice later?” She asked.

 

“Cinderella?” Jace said, not sure if it was what she meant.

 

“Yup!” Annie said and turned to leave before whipping back to Luke, pointing at him sharply. “I'm watching you, mister.”

 

As she snuck back into the playroom to make her report, she turned the recorder back on.

 

“If Jacey and Luke were playing a game, why was Jace crying?” She wondered. “FBI Agent Annie Diaz out. To be continued.”

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

###    
  


_**A record of the royal family's writings and/or correspondence on the week of the Earth Holiday “Valentines Day”.** _

 

_**From the journal of Princess Jacelyn “Jace” Marisol Diaz.** _

 

_February 14._

 

_It's been seven months to the day since you left._

 

_Estella, I feel like I'm dissolving. Everything I am and everything I ever will be is fading into nothing, into a girl of shadows. I only exist because of this journal._

 

_It's been two months and two weeks since this abuse started._

 

_I thought that Luke Johnson was brilliant and smart. I thought he loved me._

 

_He says he loves me now, but I'm not so sure. If you loved someone, why would you find any excuse you could to hurt them?_

 

_He's cut off my access to the outside world now, Stel. The only places I can go without him are my home, the school, and Arry's._

 

_Arry is a photographer too, did I mention that? He's surprisingly good. I always thought he would be more into computer programming. He talked about it all the time when we were young._

 

_Of course, I can't talk to him other than polite student talking now. Every time Luke catches me talking to someone, he assumes I'm either hitting on them or talking shit about Luke. In Arry's case, he thinks its both._

 

_Annie is worried about me, I can tell. She nearly caught Luke hurting me the other day, but I managed to lie. I think she bought it._

 

_Mom's worried about me, too, but I just lie and tell her I'm tired from cheerleading practice._

 

_Even though I'm not allowed to go to cheer practice now. I just hang out with Aline while Luke and Dave get stoned. At least Aline is nice to me. She's the only friend Luke lets me have._

 

_And when Luke is stoned, he's not hurting me. He's really lovey-dovey, and it makes my heart ache. What kind of person would he be, without the drug selling and the abuse?_

 

_I can't imagine, no matter how much I want to. I love_ _**this** _ _Luke, even when he's hurt me so bad I can_ _only lie on the floor and cry._

 

_Sometimes, when he hurts me, its a small hurt- a pinch on my back or arm when we're in public and I forget to introduce him._

 

_Then there's the medium hurts- a slap to my face or a nudge that feels like a kick when I'm late after school. Sometimes I wish I could skip, but that would give everything away._

 

_Then there's times when its all I can to to curl in a ball, push my arms over my face and hunker down while he hurts me. It's like waiting out a storm, those times. He screams and every strike has more force behind it than the last and I wish I would die so it would all be over._

 

_Sometimes, I'll look up just after he's finished, and I'll see a_ _**look** _ _on his face- a horrible stricken look, as if he's realized all that he's done to me._

 

_And you know what, Stel? I feel sorry for him. Sorry. For_ _**him.** _

 

 

_I don't know what to do. I'm in trouble, Estella._

 

_**End of transcript.** _

 

_**Extract from the journal of Queen Marco Ubaldo Diaz, taken on Valentines Day.** _

 

_February 14._

 

_A whole day off for Tommy and I! It was fantastic. All the demons were busy so we didn't have to be hassled about anything. There were no worries... on the royal front._

 

_On the home front though, I'm kind of worried about Jace. She comes home so often with her eyes bloodshot from crying. She won't answer any of my questions honestly, and she's always out with Luke Johnson._

 

_Sometimes she comes home with bruises on her face. She lies and says she got clumsy and fell, but Jace never used to be this clumsy. I can't help but wonder if some of the kids at school are picking on her or something._

 

_Maybe I should teach her karate the next time I have a day off._

 

_I'll never tell her this, but I wish she had never met Luke Johnson. She seems like a shadow of the girl she used to be. She always hated loud noises, but now the slightest noise can make her flinch and shake like a leaf for five minutes. Maybe it has something to do with him, but I can't pin it down. All I can think is if she never met Luke, she wouldn't be upset like this. Maybe she would have met Arry again_ _and been happy with him. She did like him when they were young._

 

_I think I'll try and talk to her sometime._

 

_In other news, for Valentines Day Tommy surprised me with..._

 

_**End of Transcript.** _

 

_**Unsent correspondence from Princess Annie Diaz to Princess Estella Diaz.** _

 

_February 14._

 

_My babysitter thinks I should put the date when I start a letter. I think its a load of trash, but I'll do it anyways._

 

_I have a lot to tell you, but I'll save it for when you come back. I know you will eventually. I really miss you, Estella._

 

_Let me get to the point now._

 

_Jace is in trouble. She says she isn't, but she comes home hurt all the time and crying. The other day I saw Luke push her. Jace told me they were just playing a game, but if so why was she crying?_

 

_I think_

 

_**At this point, the pen ruptured or ink was somehow spilled on the paper. Its edges are singed.** _

 

_**End of transcript.** _

 


	13. Chapter 13

###    
  


When I fell asleep that night, I made it to Dreamland.

 

It takes a while to reach Dreamland and you can't do it by any conscious effort, unless you're a dream demon. But that night when my head hit the pillow, I was out like a light.

 

I could feel the pull, something dragging me to Dreamland, so I just went along with it.

 

“Hello?” I called once I reached Dreamland. It was recognizable as my family's palace, albeit in a different color scheme and slightly distorted around the edges.

 

“Jace.” A voice said, and my heart nearly stopped. Then my sister- my dear, beautiful, wonderful, missing sister stepped into view. She had her cat hat perched perfectly on her head. She surveyed my face and I saw her pink eyes widen slightly. She whistled, sharp and low. “You look like you took a long walk through a bad neighborhood.” She said quietly.

 

“How am I here?” I asked her, holding my arms tight against me. “How are _you_ here?”

 

Estella grinned a bit mischievously, holding out her arms. The dam broke and I rushed towards her, flinging my arms around her and closing my eyes. “I paid to have a spell woven into the journal. As soon as you wrote “I'm in trouble”, it brought us here. So tell me whats going on.”

 

“Jace?” Estella asked, worried. I realized I was making a high-pitched keening noise in the middle of my throat and stopped it immediately.

 

She looked at me and frowned. “You're wearing long sleeves in the dream. That's weird, let's fix it.”

 

“Stel, no-” I began, wanting to say it was fine, I was fine. But Estella closed her eyes and concentrated, and after a moment my shirt was replaced by my trademark tank top and a pair of capris.

 

There were bruises all over my arms and my legs. The red spirals running through only served to emphasize how bad it was. No matter how hard I looked, I hadn't been able to find a break in the bruising, only places where it was faded by a few days.

 

“That's bet-” Estella began, turning to me before her eyes widened. “Holy _fuck,_ Jace!” She said, seizing one arm. “Does anyone know about this?”

 

I shook my head and opened my mouth, intending to come up with a lie, but the truth blurted out of its own accord.

 

“My boyfriend hits me.” I told her, and then it all came spilling out. How I had became a cheerleader, how I fell off a pyramid and then met Luke that night, how different I felt around him. How his father hit him. I told her about the first time he hit me, and the second. I told her how I had begun to avoid everyone, even Nikki, because Luke didn't want me near _anyone._ He thought I would tell them, and-

 

“Oh god, he's going to _kill_ me.” I whispered, my hands shaking. “I wasn't supposed to tell. And now he'll find out somehow, someway, and I-”

 

“I'll kill _him,_ goddammit.” Estella snapped. You could practically _feel_ the anger radiating off of her. “I can't believe he did this to you. Jacey, I'm so sorry. I'm coming home and I'm going to kill him.”

 

Then I blurted it out- the most shameful, painful secret of all.

 

“I love him.” I whispered. Stel went silent and I knew she was listening. “I know he's bad for me, but I love him. And he loves me. He _does._ ”

 

Estella inhaled then- a long, sad sound.

 

“I'm so sorry.” She whispered again. And finally, she pulled me into her arms, hugging me and smoothing my hair as I cried. Finally, someone else knew why I was in pain. “We'll figure it ou-”

 

“Jace?” Said a voice in the distance, and I froze.

 

“Oh, god, he's here.” I whispered. “Luke is a dream demon, he can tell when someone's in Dreamland and he can visit them.”

 

Estella balled her fists, looking ready to fight, but I shook my head frantically.

 

“You don't want to fight him here. Just put me back in pajama pants and my long sleeve.”

 

She closed her eyes and concentrated and I was back in the garments, and not a moment too soon.

 

Luke appeared, glancing between me and Estella.

 

“Who is this, Jace?” Estella said mildly, playing along for now.

 

“Stel, this is my boyfriend, Luke.” I said, stepping over to him. His arm slipped around my waist, his fingers digging in painfully for a moment, and then the pressure was gone. I knew we were going to have to talk about this later. “Luke, this is my sister, Estella.”

 

“I've heard a lot about you.” Luke said, extending his hand and smiling. Stel held up her hands and smiled apologetically.

 

“I don't shake hands, I'm a germaphobe.” She said, lying quickly.”But it's nice to meet you. Jace was just gushing about how _fantastic_ you are. I gotta say it almost made me nauseous, she's so _cheesy_ about you.”

 

“ I can't help it.” I joked, looking at Luke. Any trace of irritation was gone from his face, and I breathed a sigh of relief internally.

 

“It's the hair, right?” Luke joked back. Then, “Jace, I need to wake up now. We're still on for tomorrow, right?”

 

“Of course.” I said to him easily. He nodded and closed his eyes again, fading from Dreamland.

 

For us, the semblance of Dreamland was getting more and more distorted. We were waking up.

 

“I'm coming for you.” Estella said, her pink eyes burning, “And we're going to rip his spine out.”

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

###    
  


I was torn between a mixture of elation and guilt. _Elation._ My sister was coming home. She was going to stop Luke. Finally, someone knew why I was so different. I wouldn't feel like it was me against the world anymore. The heavy weight that seemed pinned on our household would disappear.

 

 _Guilt,_ because I loved Luke. I knew he loved me. I knew when he hurt me it was only because _I_ had done something wrong, no other reason. If Estella told anyone else, Luke would be arrested. He would be convicted of treason against the royal family. The best punishment he would receive would be exile. The worst? He could be torn from his body, his soul sent to the darkest depths of hell to burn.

 

We took treason seriously.

 

How could I convict the boy who, despite all else, I loved?

 

I opened the book and scribbled a note out.

 

_February 15._

 

_Stel, don't tell anyone. I can handle this. I know he'll stop._

 

Within moments, Estella had written a response. There was some kind of bond between my journal and one she had, apparently.

 

**I'm coming. No one touches my family, Jace.**

 

A pause, and then another thing from her.

 

**Liar.**

 

I knew she was right.

* * *

 

“Jace, honey?”

 

I looked up as my mom entered the room, a bit surprised. I knew Mom loved all of us, but the duties of being a Queen often kept her from having heart-to-hearts with any of us children.

 

“Yeah, mom?” I asked, sitting up in the bed.

 

“I've been thinking...” She said slowly, a bit hesitantly. “You seem really different lately. You've always been a shy girl, but now you don't hang out with anyone. Not even Nikki. And you come home crying so often...”

 

_Ohgodohgod she knows, doesn't she? Oh god, I have to lie. She can't know too._

 

“Are those girls who used to bully you at it again?”

 

I froze, pausing. Lily and her group had always been manipulative, and more than once in my youth she had attacked me, starting a fight in the cafeteria that I never bothered to stop.

 

Could I pin this all on her?

 

The answer came back to me immediately. No, I couldn't pin this on Lily. She might have been a witch, but I wasn't about to blame her for something she hadn't done.

 

“No, Mom, they aren't.” I said, a lie coming to the tip of my mouth. “Luke and I go to fight classes together. I'm not as good as the others, that's all.”

 

Oh god, lying to my mother hurt. Mom had always told the truth to me. To _everyone._ She was known for her courage and honesty, her loyalty.

 

There was a pause as she looked at me. I could tell she was wavering between wanting to accept the lie and pushing for the truth past the weak screen.

 

“Okay...” She said slowly, still keeping a hand behind her back. “The second thing I thought of... You never wear colors anymore.”

 

 _Yeah, I do._ I thought. _You see this bruise on the back of my neck? It's blue. I have green and yellow and purple, too. You just don't know._

 

“You're always wearing black or gray.” She explained, frowning slightly. “You look so beautiful in lighter colors, so... I got you this!”

 

Mom pulled a beautiful dress out from behind her back, smiling. I couldn't help but gasp. It was a bright, popping light blue. It was strapless and one of those high-low ones.

 

And Mom was right, I would have looked beautiful- two or three months ago. That dress was meant for a girl with clear skin and a pretty smile.

 

I was a broken girl.

 

“I have a white one for you, too.” She said, holding it up. “There's the Blood Moon Ball next week, so I thought...”

 

I nodded, forcing a plastic smile.

 

“I'll wear one of them.” I said brightly, already planning ways to cover my bruises.

 

Mom nodded, smiling brightly and kissing my head.

 

“ _Queen Marco!”_ A voice yelled, and I flinched at the sound.

 

Mom eyed me for a moment before sighing.

 

“Duty calls. Are you going to be okay on your own tonight?”

 

“Sure, Mom.” I said with a smile. She left the room, pulling the door shut behind her.

 

I folded in on myself in the bed, staring at the mirror. The girl who stared back looked hollow, her blue eyes dull. Even the vivid blue streak in my hair from my biological mother, Jackie Lynn Thomas, looked dull.

 

I was disappearing before my own eyes.

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

###    
  


It was the day of the Blood Moon Ball, and I was _exhausted._ I had been out with Luke nearly all night and was sporting a nasty bruise at the base of my shoulder. I knew I wouldn't be able to cover it up.

 

This time, I had apparently embarrassed Luke by having a long chat on Earthen politics with one of Luke's “customers”.

 

I opened up my journal to see if Stel had sent me anything. From what she had told me, she was being delayed by things happening at her new school.

 

**Should be home tonight in time for the ball. Be there. Bring Luke, we'll out his ass.**

 

Fear crept up my spine, mixed with a strange but certain relief. After tonight, it would all be over and I would be _safe._

 

But Luke...

 

 **He's not good for you, Jace.** The words spelled across the page, as though reading my mind. Estella had always been able to tell with a glance if something was wrong.

 

**I'm sorry.**

 

Sorry was what I wanted to hear, but not from Estella. I wanted Luke to tell me he was sorry. I _knew_ he was. I knew it, by the way he looked at me, held me close, the way he smiled. I just wanted to hear it confirmed from his own mouth.

 

He was so smart, and he made my heart hurt.

 

“ _Hey, Luke?” I had called the day before._

 

“ _Yeah?” He asked. As he looked up from changing the oil in his car, I snapped a picture of him with my_ _camera. One more to add to my collection. Later I would rush to the darkroom and develop it, try to look for any sign of the monster that lay beneath the surface of his skin. I had pictures of him in every state- irritation, sleep, groggy smiles, chuckling, bored, at the steering wheel and humming along._

 

_Every state except the one he had before he hurt me._

 

_I looked back down at my science homework, smiling. “How long is an eon?”_

 

_Just a pause as he wiped his hands before he went over to me, kissing me softly._

 

“ _A billion years.” He replied._

 

Later that night, lying in his bed at the pool house while we watched a movie, he turned to me, kissing my forehead.

 

“Will we be together for an eon?” He asked me.

 

“I hope so.” I breathed out, knowing it wasn't going to happen. Estella was on her way.

 

“Jace!” A voice yelled, yanking the covers off of my head. I made a protesting whine, reaching for the covers again before realizing who was there.

 

“Up and at em.” Nikki said, grinning as she bounced on the end of my bed. “Good God, girl, it's almost twelve o' clock. Why are you still asleep?”

 

“Why are you here?” I asked as I scrubbed the sand out of my eyes.

 

“I've been feeling neglected.” She said as she sat on the bed's edge. “So you and I are gonna hang out today!”

 

“What?” I asked, the words sinking in. “Nikki, I can't, I made plans with Luke and I don't know when he's coming to pick me up-”

 

“Who gives a fuck?” Nikki asked. “You can call Luke and tell him I'm kidnapping you. I _need_ some time with my best friend. I'm going through withdrawals here.”

 

“The Blood Moon Ball is tonight.” I said, trying to find some feeble excuse that would allow me to stay and wait for Luke.

“Yeah, _tonight._ I can have you here by six and the maids and stylists will have you ready by the time it starts at seven.”

 

“I have to be-”

 

“ _Queen Marco!”_ Nikki yelled, and Mom stuck her head inside, smiling. “Can Jace come hang out with me until the ball tonight?”

 

“As long as she's on time, I don't care. Do you girls need some snacks? I seriously overcooked.”

 

A trickle like ice slid its way down my back. Clearly, there was no way I was getting out of this.

 

“By the way, the cheer squad kicked you off the team.” Nikki said, lowering her voice so my mother didn't hear.

 

“Okay.” I said, trying hard to be flippant, although a small hard pit had settled in my stomach.

 

“Don't you even _care?”_ Nikki asked.

 

I closed my eyes and thought of the feeling of climbing to the top. Standing, shaky and triumphant while the crowd cheered. Then I thought of Luke, how annoyed he had been. How when I had been cheerleading I had had no time with him.

 

“No.” I said quietly. “I don't even care.”

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

###    
  


It was nice to hang out with Nikki again, I had to admit. All along though, I was tense. I kept calling Luke's cell phone, but he wasn't picking up. And his voice mail wasn't set up. I tried to think optimistically, tell myself if he knew I called, I wouldn't be in as much trouble, but I knew that wasn't the truth.

 

I was dressed in the popping blue dress, along with opaque tights and a black jacket. It had been a hassle to get out of the house with it on until I had snapped at Mom and Nikki, stopping when I saw the stricken looks on their faces.

 

“We really _do_ need time together.” Nikki joked. “I don't even know you anymore.

 

I didn't know me either, I wanted to tell her. Instead I just apologized and we left the house. Now I was lying on the dock of an Earthen pond, listening to Nikki talk about her latest love interests and gossip at the school.

 

Her latest love interests were Jeff the Dippin' Dots guy, a nice aw-shucks boy from Earth who honestly thought he was going to marry Nikki, and a foreign exchange student from Mewni who was really good with sports.

 

“She's like, a basketball varsity _and_ a knockout. How often does that happen?”

 

I shrugged, wincing as Nikki popped open another beer and took a large gulp. I was still perfectly sober, having drunk only the coke that Mom brought for us. Now I was picking at a pile of nachos, working my way through the mound.

 

“Nikki, if you drink too much we won't be able to get back in time for the ball.” I said anxiously, though the blood moon ball was the last thing on my mind. Instead I pictured Luke driving around in my home dimension, looking for me and getting angrier and angrier. I could practically see the way his eyes would turn black, how his face would turn red. If Luke hated anything it was a broken promise.

 

Nikki drained her beer, grinning micheviously.

 

“I already need to dry out, Jace.”

 

_Oh god, Luke is going to kill me if she doesn't get me back there._

 

“Nikki, you don't understand. I have _got_ to get back there.” I said anxiously. Nikki looked irritated and turned to me.

 

“You're damn right I don't understand.” She snapped. “Why are you so afraid of Luke? From the way you act, its like he beats you or something.”

 

I flinched back from her outburst, suddenly scared. When had I gotten to be this scared of a red face, a raised voice?

 

“Why I'm so scared right now, “ I replied, “Is that I made a promise to someone I love and you made me _break_ it, which is a _shitty_ thing to do, Nikki.”

 

“Give me your phone.” She said, pulling it out of my hand. “I'll call him and explain. What's his contact? Oh, wait I think its under _babe._ ” She snickered.

 

All I needed was a drunken Nikki trying to explain to a pissed off Luke.

 

I snatched my phone back and stood, grabbing the dimensional scissors Hekapoo had given me for my twelfth birthday.

 

“If you won't give me a ride back I'll just get home on my own.” I said, voice rising slightly in panic.

 

I saw Nikki's boyfriend approaching and relaxed a little, knowing she wouldn't be drunk and alone. Then I turned and cut through to my dimension, leaping through and sliding the portal closed again.

 

I ended up a few miles away from the palace, where Luke was undoubtedly waiting. When I looked at the clock I noticed that it was already six thirty and I swore. I had forgotten the crossover of hell and earth timezones.

 

I walked as quickly as I could, wishing that I had already grown my wings. If I had, this would have been so much easier. I would have been there already. Instead it took me until seven fifteen to reach the palace. And with every step, my fear grew.

 

When I neared the palace I noted Luke's black town car sitting in the driveway, in front of all the other cars and carriages. _Oh, god, he must have been here for a while,_ I thought, breaking into a run.

I opened the car door and was already trying to explain, the words tumbling out in a panic-induced rush.

 

“I'm sorry- Nikki kidnapped me- didn't wanna go- I tried to call- Oh, god Luke, I'm sorry-”

 

And his hand lashed out faster and harder than ever before, hitting me so hard I saw black spots in my vision.

 

“What the _fuck_ are you talking about!?” He demanded. I opened my mouth to speak again, try and explain, only to get shoved backwards. My door hadn't been shut all the way and I tumbled backwards, striking my head off of the harsh brimstone sidewalk.

 

I tried to struggle to my feet, but he lashed out again, knocking me down and snarling. His hand caught on my hair and horns and I let out a strangled cry as he dragged me to my feet, only to throw me down again. I tried to catch my fall, but something went wrong and I heard a sickening _snap_ paired with my high, glassy scream. My arm felt like liquid agony, but Luke wasn't done.

 

I tried to shield my arm and face as best as I could, screaming and sobbing. The air wheezed out as he kicked me in the back, right in my most sensitive spot, and then everything went mercifully white for a moment.

 

“Jace.”

 

So many people had said my name so many times over the last few months, trying to call me back as I disappeared into myself. But Luke's voice, I snapped to attention every time.

 

“Jace, get up.”

 

I knew I should do as he said, as he grabbed my jacket and tried to pull me up. But the grass under my face was wonderfully cool and I was so, so tired.

 

“No.” I whispered, letting my arms slip out of the jacket.

 

A nudge, hard, to my side.

 

“Get up.” He said again. I knew he was whispering, but his voice was gratingly loud, jangling my nerves. I could feel his rage building again, but all I wanted to do was _sleep._

 

“Go'way.” I slurred, reaching for the headphones around my neck. That seemed to be the final straw for Luke, because there was a sudden and crushing weight on my chest, pushing the air out of me. I tried to take a breath in, but it was as though there was an iron clamp on my throat. Black spots danced in my vision, and Luke's angry face hovered above me.

 

 _This is the end._ I found myself thinking dreamily, without much fear, only pain from lack of air. _He's_ _going to kill me now. Oh, Estella, I'm sorry. Please take care of Mom..._

 

“ _Get your hands off my daughter,_ _you bastard!!”_

 

The air rushed into me again as the pressure alleviated, a blur of red and purple and searing flames going right over my head. There was a pause before it registered to me that the blur was my father, and that the demonic growl-chant language was coming from him. Flames seared the ground where he walked. I had heard of the legendary outbursts of my father, but had never seen one until now.

 

I sat up and coughed and gagged as multiple pairs of hands pulled me out of the chaos.

 

“ _Narwhal-”_ Began Aunt Star, her voice cold and furious. I had never once heard Aunt Star angry in my life either.

 

“ _No.”_ Said a voice I dimly knew was my mom. “Star, this fucker is _mine.”_

 

I managed to take in a shaky breath, and a hand was set lightly on my shoulder. I knew that touch.

 

“Arry.” I said deliriously, “Tell my mom I'm dying, won't you?”

 

“You aren't dying.” He said quietly. His voice was full of fear, but there was a strong current running underneath.

 

“I think I might be.” I replied, dreamily. I could see flames in the distance and heard my mother yelling as she charged- was she yelling in spanish?

 

“I wanna help!” Said Annie, surging forwards, but someone pulled her back.

 

“Stel?” I asked, looking up at her. She smiled down at me, her face looking shaken. By my side I heard sobbing.

 

“Hey. Hey, Milo.” I whispered, reaching out with my good hand. He took it and I could feel how hard he was shaking. “Milo, it's okay.”

 

“No its not!” He replied, his words ending in another sob. “He hurt you so bad- I had no idea- Jace, I'm so sorry!”

 

“It's okay.” I repeated. Then, in the distance, I heard the metal of a sword being unsheathed.

 

“I'm going to kill you.” Growled my father's voice.

 

 _What's going on?_ I wondered before a quiet voice in the back of my head replied, _Luke._

 

“ _No!”_ I yelled, struggling to get to my feet. My muscles screamed in protest. “ _Luke, no, Daddy no don't kill him! I love him!”_

 

Estella's arms came around me then and pulled me back, unexpectedly strong.

 

There was a sudden cloud of glitter and a startled yell, and Luke was hovering in the air. When I looked at Arry's face, he was angry, but his eyes were certain.

 

“We need to use your justice system, King Tom, Queen Marco.” He said quietly.

 

 _Oh my god, Arry, you're the best._ I thought, and opened my mouth to say it, but choked. Thoughts that weren't mine began to snake their way into my head.

 

_**I betrayed Luke. I told them what he did to me without letting them know I deserved it. I'm a traitor, I'm a horrible person! I'm worthless! I wished I was dead, maybe I should die, maybe I should kill-** _

 

My hands were moving but they weren't, snatching a dagger out of one of the guards sheaths, pressing it to my throat.

 

_**I was going to kill myself because I had broken my promise, I was going to die because he would and in death we would be together. One quick motion and it would all be over-** _

 

_I want to live!_

 

The dagger pressed against my throat, beadlets of blood appearing along the edge. I saw Luke smile and I was shaken down to my core. Luke was doing this, Luke was making me push the dagger against my throat. My hand began to fight, tried to lower the dagger instead of making the deep slashing motion Luke wanted to make.

 

My family was screaming, Estella was trying to pull the dagger out of my hands.

 

A garbled scream scraped out of my throat. It was my voice, it was Luke's voice, it was something ancient.

 

“ _ **GET OUT OF MY HEAD!”**_

 

Arry yelped in fear when he saw me, and suddenly it was just me in my head. I knew something was wrong, though. Luke would never have relinquished control. Not until I died. Which must have meant-

 

I turned my head, dropping the dagger, to see Luke. Arry had lost his focus when I had screamed. He had dropped Luke.

 

And Luke had fallen horribly wrong, his head twisted at an unnatural angle, the crunching of his bones echoing just a little too late.

 

His once brilliantly green eyes stared at me, glazing over.

 

 _See you in Dreamland, Jace._ A fading voice whispered in my mind.

 

Luke Johnson was dead.

 

 


End file.
